Loss of “Control”: How Some Abusers Use Reproductive Coercion February 22, 2011

Recently, a phone survey conducted by the National Domestic Violence Hotline not only confirmed the reproductive coercion as a means of relationship abuse, but gave stark insight into its scope and scale.

A new phone study conducted by the  National Domestic Violence Hotline, recently outlined a growing (and disturbing) trend in the sort of tactics being used by heterosexual men who physically and emotionally abuse their romantic partners: reproductive abuse. According to the report, men who abuse women physically and emotionally may also attempt to sabotage their partners’ birth control and reproductive rights, pressuring them to become pregnant, or to be at increased risk of pregnancy, and sexually transmitted diseases against their will.

While this may come as a surprise to some, reproductive abuse is nothing new to many victims of domestic violence.  For several years, smaller studies have documented this kind of coercion among low-income teenagers and young adults with a history of violence by intimate partners.  But what is interesting–and shocking–about the most recent research out of the NDVH study is not the existence of relationship abuse as a tactic of abusive partners, but the sheer scope and scale of the practice.

According to the report, 1 in 4 women who agreed to answer questions after calling the hot line said a partner had pressured them to become pregnant, told them not to use contraceptives, or forced them to have unprotected sex. As incredible as these figures may sound, even more chilling are the details and stories many respondents chose to share–particularly stories about the tactics many men used in order to coerce their female partners or manipulate their reproductive rights. “It was very eye-opening,” said Lisa James, director of health at the Family Violence Prevention Fund in San Francisco, which worked with the hot line on the report. “There were stories about men refusing to wear a condom, forcing sex without a condom, poking holes in condoms, flushing birth control pills down the toilet.”  And the list went on. “There were lots of stories about hiding the birth control pills — that she kept ‘losing’ her birth control pills, until she realized that he was hiding them,” Ms. James added. Other respondents described having to go to great lengths in order to retake some control of their own reproductive lives.  One woman described having to hide in the bathroom to take her pill.  Another said that when she got her period recently, her partner was “furious.”

Dr. Elizabeth Miller, an assistant professor of pediatrics at the School of Medicine at the University of California, Davis, helped design the questions of the survey, and noted the importance of its findings. “It’s really important to recognize reproductive coercion as another mechanism for control in an unhealthy relationship,” Dr. Miller said. At the same time, she added, younger women and girls dating older men may be confused by the pressure to become pregnant. “If you can put yourself in the shoes of a 15-year-old dating an 18- or 19-year-old man, which is not an unusual scenario, and he says to her, ‘We’re going to make beautiful babies together,’ that’s pretty seductive.”

While Dr. Miller admits that more research needs to be done on the subject, (particularly with respect to the motivations of the men in these scenarios), she freely admits that the phenomenon is unlikely to be a new one. “I just think not enough people have been asking the question,” she said.  And indeed, the data seems to back this up.

In a paper published last year in the journal Contraception, Dr. Miller reported that at five family planning clinics in Northern California, one-third of 683 female patients whose partners were physically abusive said the men had also pressured them to become pregnant or had sabotaged their birth control. Of 191 women who reported birth control sabotage, 79 percent also reported physical abuse, the study found. From a domestic violence perspective, these findings, and those of the NDVH phone study, are significant, and serve as a chilling reminder that abusive partners will often go to great and invasive lengths in order to exert power and control over their victim–in any aspect of their lives.

To learn more about domestic violence, reproductive coercion and your rights as someone in an abusive relationship call our 24-hour hotline at (919) 929-7122.

Domestic Violence Knows No Age February 18, 2011

Alamance County Sheriffs arrested Robert Broom for the shooting of his wife, Danna Broom. Robert Broom was later convicted of his wife's attempted murder, and the murder of his unborn daughter Lily, who died as a consequence of the shooting.

In October 2008 when Danna Broom was shot in the stomach by her husband, Robert Morris, her first thoughts were for her unborn child, still developing in her womb.  Although the bullet missed the baby, doctors were compelled to extract the infant early so that they could try to save the life of her mother.  Thirty-one days later, the 26-week-old Lily Broom died from complications related to premature birth.  And later, in 2009, Robert Broom, 39, was charged and later convicted of her murder, receiving a sentence of life in prison without parole.  (Broom also received 13 years for the attempted murder of his wife, Danna Broom).

As terrifying and shocking as this story is, the above incident, as recounted in Sunday’s News & Observer is nevertheless an important reminder of the prevalence–and danger–of abusive relationships.  And it is an important reminder that domestic violence defies racial, cultural, and socioeconomic stereotype, and can occur sometimes unexpectedly, suddenly and without warning.

Danna Broom she says she didn’t even know she was in an abusive relationship until it nearly took her life, and in her own retelling, her life with her husband had always been a bit of a fairy tale, at least at first. The couple first met in Charlotte, in 1997, while both were working as paid professionals in an engineering firm.  They were married five years later in 2001, and three years after that, their first daughter, Emma, was born.  But, after Emma was born, Danna says she suffered crippling postpartum depression, and said that she and her husband began drifting apart.  By 2008, the couple began fighting and fighting often.  Then in the spring, Danna Broom became pregnant again, this time with Lily. Initially, Danna says, she and Robert promised to work harder, and try to make their marriage work.  However, what she didn’t realize is that her pregnancy put her in the greatest danger of all.

During pregnancy, irrational feelings of jealousy, fear, possessive/ownership and stress (elements which are sometimes underpinning and all-too-common in most abusive relationships) often lead men who are abusers to erupt in some of the most violent and unpredictable ways.  Statistically speaking, women are most likely to suffer violence and abuse during pregnancy than at any other time in their lives. Research has shown that homicide is the leading cause of traumatic death for pregnant and postpartum women in the US--accounting for as much as 31% of death resulting from injuries to pregnant women.

In October 2008, just moments before the tragic events that nearly cost her her life, Danna said that she and Robert were in their upstairs bedroom, talking about their future.  They discussed divorce.  They fussed, and began arguing.  Robert (while testifying on his own behalf), said he threatened to leave.  Then, while Robert excused himself to go to the bathroom, Danna says the next thing she knew, she felt the muzzle of the .45-caliber pistol pushed against her stomach, and a blast that blew her onto her back.

Through the afternoon and night, Broom said, her husband held her hostage, refusing to call for medical help.  She fought sleep, and says she survived simply by sheer force of will, and drew encouragement from every little movement her unborn daughter made.  Finally, twelve hours after the initial shooting, she made a deal with her husband–”If you call for paramedics, I’ll tell them it was an accident.” Mrs. Broom repeated the “accident” explanation several times over the next few days, even though doctors immediately saw through her story, saying that because the wound had already begun to heal, she had to have been shot at least eight hours before the 911 call was placed.

Eventually, police arrested Robert Broom, who was charged and eventually convicted of Danna’s attack, and Lily’s murder.  Broom’s lawyers have recently appealed the ruling, arguing that because Lily wasn’t directly injured in the attack, and died (they claim) as a result of the actions taken by the doctors trying to save Danna’s life, Robert”s conviction of first-degree murder should be overturned. But regardless of the legal criteria, sentencing guidelines, and arguments arising out of this case, one fact remains undisputed: an innocent life was lost as a result of a violent attack.

As tragic as the incident in Alamance is, it is also a painful reminder that similar incidents are playing out in homes across the state and the nation–and even here in Orange County.  It is important to note that at least to outwards appearances (and indeed, even to Danna Broom’s own recollections), the Broom family didn’t fit any of the stereotypes of a “domestically abusive household”: they were both white, educated, trained professionals, of middle- to upper middle-class means, and had no discernible history of substance abuse, alcoholism, or mental illness.  They were, in effect, an outwardly “normal” couple.

This gets at the uncomfortable truth underlying many abusive relationships; that there is no group of individuals prone to domestic violence and that often the most shocking (and most dangerous) instances of domestic violence come with little warning, from the people we least expect. It is critically important to build communities of understanding which victims of domestic violence feel that if they do speak out, that they will be not only heard, but also believed. Because only when victims feel comfortable speaking about their situation can they ever be expected to seek help for it.

FVPC offers crisis counseling and a 24-hour hotline to aid victims of domestic violence who wish to seek help.  But even beyond these services, FVPC also offers information about healthy relationships, and how to identify when a relationship has become abusive, in addition to safety planning for victims on how to keep themselves safe, both in an abusive relationship, and after leaving one. If you believe you or someone you know might be in an abusive relationship,or if you’d like to learn the warning signs of a relationship that’s become abusive give us a call at 919-929-7122.