Male Victimization in the Media November 23, 2010

A recent post from CNN discusses the abuse charges raised against MTV‘s “Teen Mom” star Amber Portwood for her physical abuse against her male partner Gary Shirley. Portwood faces felony domestic violence charges in her Indiana hometown because of abusive incidents on her reality TV show — where she is seen shoving, punching, slapping and choking Shirley, a police spokesman said. Two of the three charges are felonies because the couple’s 1-year-old child apparently witnessed the violence, according to Anderson, Indiana police spokesman Mitch Carroll.  The investigation began seven weeks ago after MTV aired an episode of the reality series “Teen Mom” showing incidents captured over the summer, he said.

Is this article really sufficiently newsworthy to merit CNN’s attention?  In thinking about why CNN might have paid attention to a story like this, it’s important to look beyond the obvious, sensationalized story of teenager mothers.  And, while Portwood’s actions are undoubtedly abusive and wrong, it is interesting to note how much the media has focused on these actions seemingly because it is a woman abusing a man.  The abuse of a woman by a man happens all the time in the media and has become so normalized, that it takes sensationally gruesome acts of violence for us to pay much attention to it.  Institutionalized avenues in American media like pornography and other forms of “men’s entertainment” which function solely off of the portrayal of violence and degradation towards women.

Another facet of the CNN article is that two of the charges against Portwood are felony charges because they were done in the presence of her child.  While the severity of these charges may be warranted because of the damaging after effects of domestic violence on children, children witnessing violence inflicted from one parent to another is not unusual.  What is more unusual is that it is the mother hitting the father instead of the other way around.  Again, what makes this story newsworthy? The fact is that more men than women are abusers than women are and their children witness this violence on a regular basis.

None of this is written to take away from the emotional and physical trauma suffered by Gary Shirley.  Rather, we want to focus on ensuring that all cases of abuse receive equal attention and that violence towards one group is never normalized. FVPC and other relationship violence prevention agencies focus on the prevention and eradication of all forms of abuse. Until we start seeing every case of abuse with equal importance and dedication to believing and advocating for victims, domestic violence will continue to happen in all types of relationships.

“Textual Harassment”: The Unforeseen Consequences of “Sexting” November 10, 2010

Allyson Pereira, now 21, says she was a victim of digital dating abuse in high school.

On October 26th, CNN.com ran an article which told the story of Allyson Pereira, a 21-year-old woman who is still living with the consequences of a single text she sent more than five years ago.

After weathering a blitzkrieg of cruel MySpace comments, instant messages, and e-mails from her high school boyfriend, Pereira (then 16) found herself suddenly and unceremoniously dumped. Then, a month later, he changed his mind with one proviso–that she send him a nude picture of herself, as proof of her affection and commitment. Confused and vulnerable, Pereira acquiesced, never imagining that a topless photo she sent would be forwarded to other students at her high school–and then, to the rest of the world. “I was so ashamed, embarrassed and mad,” she said, in an interview with CNN.

As a result of her experiences, Pereira recently appeared on a MTV documentary about digital dating abuse called “A Thin Line,” where she and others not only spoke out against digital abuse, but also warned teens to consider the unforeseen consequences of sexting. Indeed, the evidence suggests that this message is coming none-too-soon: a new study from the Cyberbullying Research Center shows that one in ten teens reported receiving threatening cell phone messages from a romantic partner, and another 10% say their romantic partner had stopped them from using a computer or cell phone.

This is significant because this study illustrates how cell phones can be used in a pattern of abuse, particularly to reinforce the familiar themes of power and control. Sameer Hinduja, co-founder of the Cyberbullying Research Center and associate professor of criminology at Florida Atlantic University, explains that while such behaviors may initially seem innocuous, they can rapidly escalate to the level of relationship abuse. For example, he explains that it may initially start by “checking her texts and pictures to make sure she’s not texting with any other boys,” often followed by claims that “he wants to make sure the pictures are appropriate.” But, Hinduja says, ultimately “it’s the coercion and control that borders on real-world violence.”

The trend is particularly troubling for mental health providers who primarily serve adolescents and young adults. Jill Murray, a psychotherapist in California who has worked with victims of teen dating abuse, says almost all her new cases in the past three years involve mobile technology and social networking. In some instances, she says, the victims receive as many as 40 texts a day with negative messages from their partner, and are often penalized socially and emotionally for failing to reply. “It’s the phenomenon of no place to run and no place to hide,” Jennings says. “Now, you can be stalked electronically. You can’t even see your predator coming.”As a result, young women are effectively being taught to tolerate such behavior, and become fearful of the consequences of violating it. The problem, Jennings says, comes from the very nature of mobile communications and social networking, which allow fast, unlimited access to large swaths of the population, with little to no social or financial repercussions.

Unlike traditional media, social networking and mobile devices allow abusers access to their victims 24/7, even in traditionally private environments or safe times, like the home, after school and on weekends. And because mass media outlets like Facebook and Myspace can connect thousands within seconds, they give the abusive partner more leverage than ever before, either by posting or threatening to post a damaging message online that is seen by hundreds or even thousands of the victim’s friends and family, and even total strangers. In addition, since digital abuse does not leave any physical marks on victims, parents and school authorities may be completely unaware and powerless to end the abuse, especially if kids are also afraid to report the abuse for fear of social stigma, parental disbelief or worse yet, the loss of cell phone and laptop privileges.

Two agencies working nationally to combat this issue is the The Family Violence Prevention Fund, which is working with the Department of Justice to release a series of public service announcements in their “That’s Not Cool” campaign and  Liz Claiborne, Inc. a women’s clothing company which maintains a hot line and website “Love is Respect” teens can go to for support and information.

Here in Orange County,  FVPC community education volunteers travel to local middle and high schools to educate students about the importance of identifying and reporting abusive relationships (including cyber-bullying), as well as tools and resources available to them. Students learn what to look for in their own relationships, and the warning signs that often precipitate an escalation of dating abuse.

If you would like one of our community educators to come and speak to a group of your students, give our office a call at 929 3872.