Can I Ask You Something? July 28, 2011

On Sunday, July 24, the dismembered body of Laura Jean Ackerson was found in a creek in Richmond, Texas.  The alleged murderer is the father of her children, Grant Ruffin Hayes.  A few days before her death Laura Ackerson reconnected with an ex-boyfriend, James Harrison, via email.  In these emails, Ackerson told Harrison about her long custody battles with Hayes and how they “had taken a toll on her and had caused her a great deal of stress.”  Harrison said “clearly, the relationship had gone sour” but he did not want to invade her privacy, so he did not press her to talk about it too much.

Harrison’s decision not to ask Ackerson about her custody dispute could be seen as reflective of the coveted American value of the “right to privacy,”  but when does concern for an individual supersede that person’s right to privacy?  Domestic violence is not a private matter.  Ackerson and Harrison had not talked for several years prior to their email discussions.  What were Ackerson’s motives for informing Harrison of her personal struggles? Perhaps she was looking for support from anyone who would listen.

This raises an important question: What would you do if someone, however subtly, indicated that s/he needed your support?  Active listen.  If someone is telling you that s/he is struggling, with anything, give that person your undivided attention. Give them feedback to let them know you are listening.  This can be reassuring and it allows them to organize their thoughts and perhaps see them in different ways.  When you have an opening, ask a question.  This could be as basic as, “Do you feel safe?” If someone is approaching you with a problem, it is safe to assume that s/he trusts you.

How have you talked to someone about a problem that they were going through? Leave us your comments.

Volunteer Spotlight: Brianna Hartman May 9, 2011

FVPC provides numerous invaluable services to residents of Orange County, NC. Services include but are not limited to a 24 hour crisis hotline, support groups, childcare, safety planning and legal advocacy. With only three full time staff members we rely heavily on the energy and dedication of our volunteers.  This month we are focusing on Brianna Hartman !

How long have you been volunteering?

I have been volunteering with Family Violence Prevention Center for about a year and a half, since November of 2009.

How did you learn about FVPC?

I moved to Chapel Hill from Minnesota and found FVPC in the process of searching for organizations in the area that I was interested in working with. ·

Why do you volunteer?

In Minneapolis, I had worked with several families who had experienced domestic violence in the home and was motivated to spread the word about the effects of domestic violence on both parents and children. I feel as though it’s important to me to make sure that community members and parents are informed about domestic violence and what services are available to them.

What have you learned (about yourself or others) by volunteering here?

As a community educator I have had the opportunity to speak with several groups of people in the community. In the process, I have learned a lot about my ability to advocate to groups in the community and work on my public speaking/presentation skills.  I have been impressed with the wide array of contexts in which knowledge about domestic violence is valued in the community from students to parents, service providers to business owners. I have been moved by how effective community education events have been in raising awareness of domestic violence issues and even changing people’s views and behaviors in response to their increased insight.

What would you tell prospective volunteers?

I would tell prospective volunteers that this is an amazing agency to be involved in. The staff are extremely knowledgeable and supportive and create a real sense of community among the volunteers. For those specifically interested in community education, I would urge volunteers to engage in a variety of events and presentations in order to get the most out of the experience.

Thanks so much for all you do Brianna!

Volunteer Spotlight: Nancy Rickard April 14, 2011

FVPC provides numerous invaluable services to residents of Orange County, NC. Services include but are not limited to a 24 hour crisis hotline, support groups, childcare, safety planning and legal advocacy. With only three full time staff members we rely heavily on the passion and energy of our volunteers. This month we are focusing on our long time volunteer Nancy Rickard.

Q. How long have you been volunteering?

A. I’ve been volunteering at FVPC for five years.

Q. How did you learn about FVPC?

A. Soon after I moved here, I saw an ad on the grocery store bulletin board and called the volunteer coordinator.

Q. Why do you volunteer?

A.Volunteering gives back to the community and uses my strengths and education to help others. I also find great satisfaction in interacting with those whose lives have become enmeshed in life’s problems, as they sort out options and return to more healthy living.

Q.What have you learned (about yourself or others) by volunteering here?

A The resilience and ability to recover displayed in those who come to us is impressive. Working with younger people and seeing our ability to influence the lives of the abused is a joy.

Q. What would you tell prospective volunteers?

A. You have a chance to join a strong, supportive organization that will make good use of your time, talents and energy

Thank you for all you do Nancy!